on parenting

I’ve just finished listening to the podcast, The Startup Pregnant Podcast, with Sarah K. Peck and her guest, Danielle LaPorte. It’s so refreshing to hear other perspectives on parenting from the heart. Based on the timing of things, it looks like we had our kiddos right around the same time. Which is super cool. And because there is an age difference between us as mothers, I can’t help but wonder the effect that age and awareness of consciousness has affected our kids.

Because I can tell you this…I was not anywhere near self-aware as I am now. Seriously, self discovery and parenting is a round the clock job. And yes, this is a choice because I feel that this work goes hand in hand. The gap however is realizing that I have not shared with them all that I have learned. Danielle speaks to how she communicates with her son and it has given me some new perspective on how I can have better discussions with my own kiddos. I have realized that I’ve held myself back a little in what I have shared with them and what I haven’t. More openness = greater connection. Holding back = disconnect.

And what I’m specifically talking about is some of the belief systems that I have and the daily practices I use to ground me and keep my brain mentally healthy.

In the interview Danielle also talks about the process of simplifying her business. But I can’t help but wonder what we need to simplify in our home to make it easier on our kids. And when I say kids I mean kids in general. What do we need to do as a “parent society” to bring back that old fashioned homestyle family connection. Back to when it was a simpler time…aka no technology to distract ourselves with.

I’m the first to admit that I love technology and the gadgets that come with it. We used to talk as kids about how cool it would be if we could just call each other and see each other while we talked. Now it’s a thing. And I’m not that old. I get distracted by my phone. It’s an easy thing to have happen. I totally get it. And most times I’m ok with it, until I’m not. I’m not ok with the fact that our society feels more lonely and more disconnected than any generation that has come before this. This deeply bothers me. How can we feel more alone when we have an all access pass to connection.

We need the people connection to come back. We need to sit face to face and look at eachother and express the amazingness of the relationships we are creating. We need to talk more about feelings and less about the doing. We need to hold space and stop trying to fix each other. We need to share in the highs and the lows and to let the people we love know that we are there for them no matter what.

And then, we need to take the steps to do what feels good. As Danielle says in the podcast, “Joy is what happens when you’re facing your soul. When you are expressing your original self.” This is what we need. BUT how can do this when our faces are in the screen? Part of the process is getting bored. Like getting seriously bored. And with that boredom is a total feeling of loss. Because we don’t know what to do with ourselves. We are so used to letting things happen to us when we could be investigating the insides and then doing the things that we get ideas on. Who knows if they will work out? God knows, I’ve tried about a bazillion things until I realized that what I really loved talking about was the well being of our own selves, our kids & others. So now I do. And that feels good.

I am most passionate about our youth. I know what I went through as a young adult, and with my own kids in these teenage years, it is starting to bring up memories of the things that I experienced when I was their age. So many good times, but some real shit too. Navigating these years is tough, and I sometimes worry about the capacity to parent them through these years. But I’m keeping on keepin’ on loving them. And alot of the times annoying the crap out of them, if you ask them. But my hope is deep down they love it and they know that they are my world.

Sooo then,

I heard the phrase “how is your heart?” from Dallas Hartwig in their podcast on conscious language and I love how intimate and how much more truthful it sounds.

How is your heart today?
How is your heart today?
How is your heart today?

Exploring these 5 little words can change everything. We just have to be willing to try. And I am so willing. Willing to ask myself, willing to ask my kids, and willing to ask those that cross my path.

Much love, Christy

PS. I am curious to know what resources are available to parents who have teenagers. What books, podcasts, blog posts, instagram accounts are available? As well, what soul nurturing books, meditations, accounts to follow that is specific to the teen age group. I haven’t done a ton of searching but come up somewhat empty handed when I do. Which always leads me into an idea of maybe I should create something. Something to consider and think about.

PPS. Dallas Hartwig and Pilar Gerasimo host the podcast, The Living Experiment. The episode I referred to is Episode 66: Conscious Language. (every episode is amazing)

PPPS. You can learn more about Danielle LaPorte and her work here.