Why is talking about the woo so hard to do?
Why is letting that layer that is intrinsically a part of our beings so hard to let be visible? Is it just our surroundings that have led us to believe that we just are what we are. That we are ok with not knowing what we don’t know? I call bullshit. We are better than that as a society. And as individual people.
I’m currently reading Dare to Lead by Brene Brown and it’s seems like a timely addition to the questions that I’m having about coming out of the proverbial “spiritual closet”. She talks about rumbling. A moment where we can all come together to share our opinions, ideas, beliefs, feelings and our personality without judgment. A place where we can be vulnerable and trust that the other person isn’t going to use it against us. This is, to me, the definition of vulnerability.
So it leads me to this…a little story about religion and spirituality. Both practices have always been a big part of my life even in the moments when I didn’t know it.
I grew up in a household that valued religion. A Catholic faith that religiously (ha!) had us showing up to Church on Sunday mornings. And we were INVOLVED. Heavily. Choir, catechism classes, Sunday school, alter serving, being a “reader”, serving food at Church events, showing up at mass every day for lent, you name it, we were there.
I remember so many things about this time. Community building, serving a purpose greater than our own, being a part of something that felt good to be a part of. Making friends, going to choir practice. These were all FUN things to do. But it changed. As all things do.
It changed in the moments when it wasn’t fun anymore. We had moved cities, and the new Church community was different and unrecognizable. We didn’t have the connection that we were used to and by that time, I was 15 and I didn’t care or have the energy to start over again. So I bucked the traditions. Stopped going all together. By the time I graduated high school I was definitely done.
Fast forward a few years, (15 or so), I was 33, and things really started to change.
I was introduced to yoga in a studio with a very powerful instructor. An instructor that spoke with a booming voice, and was able to ask the right questions to make me want to investigate a side of myself that had been previously closed off. I wanted to learn more. And it was an immediate yearning. None of this maybe or should or maybe I shouldn’t. It was a most definite YES.
I continued going to as many classes as I could when I could. The conversation was the part that intrigued me the most (looking back). At the time, I thought it was the physical practice. Nope, it definitely wasn’t. Philosophy? Definitely my jam. At the end of the class though, I found myself in the state of peacefulness that comes with the realization of that connection with your own self. Similar to the feeling that was produced after going to a mass that resonated and could be related to. Connections were starting to be made but I still couldn’t get the dots to line up. Yoga Teacher Training helped me to learn more about that spiritual side of myself, but I was still looking for more. I still couldn’t put my finger on what that feeling was, I just knew that there was more I wasn’t quite seeing.
This connection was amped up in the fall of 2013, with a very visual experience by someone other than a human being. I very clearly saw a “bum print” in the bed of my sisters house. I don’t have a picture but I can still see the image in my mind. It was one of those moments that changed the trajectory of my life.
I immediately sought out anything that was metaphysical, first reaching for Doreen Virtue’s books on Angels and Intuition. Those teachings led me to Reiki where I had heard deepened the chance of receiving messages from those said angels? I really didn’t know but was curious to find out. I attended 2 different Reiki Master Trainings, and during those training’s very audibly and visibly, heard and saw things in my mind’s eye.
Having these psychic moments was truthfully, a little terrifying. I had never witnessed anything like this but again, was curious to learn more. I went to Intuitive Living courses, I practiced with angel cards and tarot cards, I started to listen to that intuition when making decisions. I started to trust the process even more. I would visit Mediums and wonder how they were able to do the things that they were able to do. It made me wonder if I was a Medium too. It made me freak out when they would tell me I was one. What in the actual hell did they mean? Could anyone just be one?
And so, I made a very key realization, everything that they (or anyone) is good at, is developed because they practiced. Well, obviously. Or not so much, depending on where you are at in your journey. Natural talent is obviously a factor, but because we are human, any skill that we want developed, needs to be practiced. But I didn’t know this when I was stuck in the process of wondering how all these people were doing the fascinating things that they were doing. So I kept on. Floundering through creative intuitive projects after the next trying to find the one thing that I was good at. (I’m really good at ideas, deep philosophical discussions and then coming up with more ideas, as a result of said conversation). What I didn’t know at the time, was that I was creating the foundation for my very own spiritual practice.
I’m still looking for the things that I’m good at. I truly am. Because if I stop, then won’t I just wither away and die? (Possibly dramatic) But still, learning about other things is fascinating to me (you may have noticed) but I do wonder if I will ever be content with where I am. This is where the practice of gratitude comes in for me, and was introduced in one of those creative projects. So now, on a daily basis I practice gratitude. This is such an important piece to remind myself of how many blessings I do have in my life and to slow down. Nothing is a race here. There are some things that don’t need to get done RIGHT. THIS. MINUTE. Also this: meditation. This is huge. It brings me back into knowing myself, being in true relationship with myself and producing that feeling of oneness that I mentioned before. Yes, now I create it on my own. Yes, this was another creative project/challenge that I took on.
So now, this leads me back to the woo. Spirituality. Whatever you want to call it. Spirituality and the practice of, has helped develop me into the person that I am today. Trust, faith, gratitude, and the process of all of these things, or should I say, the practice of all of these things is a huge part of my daily life.
Setting up a daily wellness practice that is just for me, has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. It doesn’t change from day to day but it does change from season to season. I want to continue learning and growing as a person. This practice helps me do this. I never would have come across this if it wouldn’t have been for that angelic bum print and the curiosity to find out why that bum print would have even been there in the first place.
Defining moments happen to us all the time, recognizing them, and taking inspired right action is what moves us forward in a loving way. There are so many “beings” that are out there that are supporting our every moment. It’s just a matter of deciding if we want to let them. And to ask them for their support. We do have free will. Obviously. That’s how our lessons are learned while we are on this Earth.
Having that religious practice early on in life, gave me a foundation of developing a spiritual practice that supports me on a daily basis. Having the guts to realize this and to share it with all of you is another big learning for me in trust and faith. So who cares if I’m spiritual? Who cares if I believe in all the woo. This is truly a key part of my personality. I have learned to trust it. I have learned to have a relationship with it that supports me and brings me a lot of joy. But, that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been hard. Being looked at as crazy isn’t fun either.
But, it has led me to places that I would have never thought possible and where I have said in conversation with other people...”you just can’t make this shit up”. You just can’t. There are too many things conspiring (in the background) that we can’t possibly know about. The question is, do you trust it? If you don’t, are you at least curious enough to learn about it without judgment?
Because there it is…in black & white. That good old judgment piece. I don’t want to be judged for my beliefs. I just don’t. And so I won’t. I will stand strong in my own beliefs, and trust that everything will be just fine. Or even better than fine, because that’s how the universe works.
Do you have your own spiritual practice? Do you find that you close yourself off from talking about it with certain people? (I did/do – it’s a work in progress! Hence this post!) Have you found yourself being judged for your beliefs? How did you deal with it? Do you ever recognize how far you’ve come? Because you have, so far! Keep going, the journey is worth every single moment.
Much love, as always, Christy