I’ll never forget the moment I had someone criticize the things that I was writing about on my Instagram page. It is something that I believe deeply in and it was all about the relationship that I have with mindfulness, intention setting, and some personal goals that I was trying to bring awareness to.
I was hurt. I was hurt in a way that made me re-evaluate what I was trying to communicate. Had I not been clear in my intentions? Why didn’t they understand? Was my goal stupid? (uhhh nope, it wasn’t)
And you know what I did? At first, I thought I didn’t care but then, I stopped talking about it. I stopped talking about this goal publicly. But what did I do in the background though? I kept going. I didn’t give up. But I never told anyone about it. And that goal? Is still something that I work on everyday.
One virtual stranger’s opinion of that one post changed how I showed up in my online space. The online space that I and YOU have every right to be in without judgment. Changing my strategy was a problem. Because?? I was showing people 2 different versions of myself. Playing small. Giving power to a stranger that wasn’t even thinking about me 2 seconds after it was said. Sound familiar? Acting one way around certain people and another way with others? That’s not how life works. This will drive us crazy. (I know it did me!) This keeps us out of alignment, and into people pleasing.
I don’t know if we truly know the full scope of another’s words or our own words for that matter! This is why mindfulness is so important to me. We just never know. I am a feeler first, thinker second. I’ve always been very empathetic & introspective. I will often not say anything at all than be at risk of hurting someone else’s feelings. Does that make me too nice? Hmmm, something to reflect on for sure. I just know this:
Whatever we’re putting out in the world has a dramatic effect.
Here’s some things that I’ve learned since that day:
- chasing what other people think isn’t going to make me happy
- valuing other people’s opinion over my own is dumb & not helpful
- pursuing the things that I want in my life are special
- I get to decide
- When I’m on my deathbed I don’t want to be sad I didn’t follow my dreams
- to give myself permission for embracing the things that bring me joy
- other people’s opinion of me is none of my business – I can’t make other people happy!! That’s their decision to make.
This past week I had really great conversation with women who were ordering engravable necklaces through my 2019 Lead with Love Campaign. The phrase “be who you are” came up as an option and you know what? Everyone loved it. Some even ordered it.
And it got me thinking, if we all want to be accepted and loved for who we are then why do we keep cutting down the people THAT WE DON’T EVEN KNOW?
My mantra for 2019 is to Lead With Love. And I honestly think that this phrase is an extension of that moment where I was criticized. I don’t know what that person was thinking or what they’re going through. And I am proud of myself for not going back in and trying to explain myself away. I don’t think it would have mattered, because it doesn’t matter. You/WE/I don’t need to explain ourselves away. See bullet #5…other’s people’s opinion of you is none of your business.
Let me close with this…This timely quote that popped up on my Instagram right before I hit the publish button…(things like this happen for a reason, are you watching for them?)
You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge. Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone profusely. But don’t apologize for who you are – Danielle LaPorte.
Does this resonate with you at ALL? Let me know. Inclusive, constructive conversation is where it’s at, don’t ya think? ~Christy
Maybe you’re curious about my Instagram? Just click on the picture below…it’ll take you right there 🙂